It seems like everywhere you look these days, somebody is talking about zombies. If the living dead could truly be en vogue, they would be. At Postconsumers, we’re clearly not out to follow trends, but we have to admit that we rather like this one. From lovable zombies to truly horrifying ones, we’re watching a lot of the shows and reading the books. We’re hoping that we never see a real life infestation of zombies, but if we do then we hope that they’ll be kind to the planet. To get them started, we’ve created some eco-friendly tips for being (and killing) zombies.
For the Zombies: Don’t Waste Food!
We’ve talked a lot on Postconsumers about the environmental problem of excessive food waste in the western world. This is going to apply to you, zombies, as well. After all, if your food source is a human population that you’re planning to entirely kill off, you’ll want to make sure that you can preserve your sustenance source for as long as possible. Don’t binge! Eat your rotting flesh in small amounts and leave none of it behind to decompose. After all, you lived with humanity before you were turned. You’re very much aware of what happens when a finite resource runs out.
For the Survivors: Remember Water Contamination?
If there’s one time that our disregard for keeping water supplies clean will come back to haunt you, it’s going to be if you’re the human survivor of the zombie apocalypse. Your life is going to be on the road a lot, and bottled water (or even tap water) is going to get rarer and rarer to find. You’re going to have to turn to natural water sources – but be wary! Between fracking, farm chemical runoff and even consumer disposal of beauty and pharmaceutical products, you may find drinkable water to be further and further away. Stock up now on water purification tablets! But mostly, remember that the water that’s most likely to be clean is from recent rains or snows. Barrel, bottle and collect when clean water falls down.
Pro Tip: Help prevent water contamination you’ll regret later with these tips for properly disposing of health and beauty products (hint: not down the drain!).
For the Zombies: More is Not Altogether Better
If there’s one message that we try to share at Postconsumers, it’s that more is not altogether better (though each person needs to find his or her own definition of “more”). We understand how that goes against your very zombie nature. More gore. More blood. More converted zombies. But we’d ask you to step back and think about whether all of that consumption is really in your best interest. After all, if you consume, consume, consume all of the people, what will be left? We’ve seen enough zombie movies to know that you’ll not only be physically but also mentally bored when you’ve consumed all that there is. Our tip? Consider moderation. Take what you need and leave what you don’t!
For the Survivors: Carrying a Solar Charger is Less Work Than Mining for Coal
We don’t want to instill the kind of fear in you about the pending zombie apocalypse that will have you building a bunker and stocking up on MRE’s. But there are some basic changes you can make now that you’ll be thanking us for later – and the bonus is that they’re also good for the planet! You know what’s not going to be happening during a zombie apocalypse? Fossil fuel energy production. But the sun will still shine (unless it really is end days). Replace your fossil fuel chargers with solar ones now and you’ll be in better shape to survive – and survive on a cleaner planet.
For the Zombies: Don’t Try to Keep Up with the Neighbors
Another one of the mindsets that Postconsumers tries to dispel is the idea of “keeping up with the Joneses.” Just because undead Jane and undead Bob over there think that they need to eat ALL the people, it doesn’t mean that you need to eat ALL the people just to keep up. Just because you’ve died and been reanimated, it doesn’t mean that you have to embrace all of the unhealthy mental beliefs of western culture in your newly deadened state. Take this natural change in your lifecycle to re-evaluate your mental state as well. You may find that undead Jane and undead Bob are just trying to eat ALL the people because they’re not happy. So find ways to be happy instead of just trying to eat ALL the people.
For the Survivors: Less is More for You, Too
The zombies have undergone a big life change, but so have you. You’ve gone from a culture where how big your house was and how much stuff you had in it mattered to one where you’re going to need to travel very lightly (and often quickly). It may end up being a mental adjustment for you to think about how you have to be able to pack everything that you need into one backpack. It will, however, be easier for you if you start thinking about how to reduce clutter, emotional shopping and things you don’t need now. Fortunately, the Postconsumers website is essentially one big how-to on just that. You’re going to have a hard enough time dealing with the new realities of the zombie apocalypse. Let go of your addiction to “stuff” now to make it easier then!
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